“ *Yawns* What a gorgeous Day! ” said Railey
“IT’S TIME FOR BREAKFAST” yelled Davlyn loudly “WE HAVE TO GET READY FOR…” “INDOOR SKYDIVING YAY” said Railey and Havea
“Ohh i See you have yourself all ready, go have you break fast and let's head out” said Davlyn. *Few minutes later* “ *Burps*Those are some great meals” announced Havea. *gets in car* “Ok Guys feel Free to do whatever you want were in for a long drive” “Ok Davlyn while you drive me and Railey will be eating all snacks” replied Havea *a few hours later* “i'm so tired,” said Havea. “I shouldn't have eaten those spicy tacos,” announced Railey. “That's why you shouldn't eat way to much food” replied Davlyn
*After a few hours* they finally got there “ahhh it feels like years a
Awesome job Railey there is nothing is wrong with this, you have achieved your goal of using a lot of detail
ReplyDeleteThis is good but there is not a lot of detial
ReplyDeletegreat detail, next time add more paragraph
ReplyDeletenice Railey i like your paragraphs.
ReplyDeleteGreat job Railey I really like the way you used dialogues
ReplyDeletenice but next time add more detail!
ReplyDeletei achieve my goal my adding a bit more detail. next goal is to add more paragraph.
ReplyDelete